Finished!

so I finished the Historian. What a densely written book. She packs a lot of information in those 600+ pages. What I don't understand is why many critics have compared it to the Da Vinci Code. I liked the Da Vinci code as a fluffy, easy summer read. [I obviously know that it is a work of fiction and my beliefs have not been questioned with the reading of this novel.] But there's nothing fluffy about The Historian. This book, which is also obviously fiction, is steeped in so much history and she takes the time to develop her characters, scenes, etc...I swear, I could almost smell the centuries-old vellum and parchment she describes. I could write more about it, but since I just finished it (and I'm not the type to write spoilers), I need to ruminate on it some more before I can form my impressions into a coherent thought.

Faith Seeking Understanding

You scored as Anselm. Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period. He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?' Anselm 100% John Calvin 100% Karl Barth 87% Jonathan Edwards 80% Friedrich Schleiermacher 80% Martin Luther 67% J�rgen Moltmann 60% Augustine 47% Charles Finney 40% Paul Tillich 27% Which theologian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

"My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me." --Psalm 63:8

Interestingly, when I took the quiz last night, I was more attuned with Karl Barth; I skimmed through his life and ideals, and found that I do indeed agree with what he seems to posit, and would like to read his works further to see the intricacies of his opposition to national socialism. Thus, I added Church Dogmatics on to my "to read" list.

Well, I wanted to post my quiz results onto this blog, and decided to take it again, assuming the same outcome. After all, am I not the same person as I was 12 hours ago? Well, apparently, I've turned into Anselm overnight, with a touch of Calvin and Barth. At first, I was a little offended; after all, I didn't want to seem inconsistent and capricious in my beliefs. But, the more I read about Anselm, and taking into context that Barth had a Calvinist background, with which to base his own theology, the more I feel OK with the "different result." I'm not inconstant. I'm just not exactly like these guys.

Anselm's ontological arguments about the existence of God, better known as his "theistic proofs," has led to his well-known motto: "Faith seeking understanding." I've heard of that phrase before, but have never known its origin. I've identified with that motto, because I believe that my imperative as a Christian is to seek and to find understanding of my faith; an act of will to have a deeper knowledge of God. It is a similar type of theme in one of my favorite devotionals (which my father has claimed for himself), Tozer's The Pursuit of God, and seems to be in line with the true definition of love, which is not an emotion but an active, willful decision.

"Faith seeking understanding" implies that "faith" is a volitional act, driving a person to know God. Therefore, it is a criticism against "cultural Christianity" or the I-prayed-to-accept-Christ-as-Savior-so-I-must-be-saved-the-end Christianity. As Tozer indicted:

Christ may be "received" without creating any special love for Him in the soul of the receiver. The man is "saved," but he is not hungry nor thirsty after God. In fact he is specifically taught to be satisfied and encouraged to be content with little.

What one needs is the "as the hart panteth for the watering brook, so my soul panteth for thee, O God" Christianity. Because, is not a faith that merely believes unthinkingly, a dead faith?

So, it seems that I have to add another philosophical work to my "to read" list. Whenever I intend to read something completely new and/or outside of the usual contemporary fiction fare, I skim the first paragraph of that work. Usually, all I ever need to know about a book (author's control of English language, balance of style and mechanics, etc) is within the first paragraph. I knew what my next educational/nonfiction book would be after this paragraph:

There is a being which is best, and greatest, and highest of all existing beings.

IF any man, either from ignorance or unbelief, has no knowledge of the existence of one Nature which is highest of all existing beings, which is also sufficient to itself in its eternal blessedness, and which confers upon and effects in all other beings, through its omnipotent goodness, the very fact of their existence, and the fact that in any way their existence is good; and if he has no knowledge of many other things, which we necessarily believe regarding God and his creatures, he still believes that he can at least convince himself of these truths in great part, even if his mental powers are very ordinary, by the force of reason alone.

So, not only does Anselm want to motivate other believers to have an active relationship with God, but also unbelievers. It reminds me of the verses, "The fool has said in his heart, there is no God" (Psalm 14:1), and Romans 1:18-24:

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; because that which may be known of God is manifest in then; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse...professing themselves wise, they became fools and changed the glory of the uncorruptible God...

Indeed, I cannot wait to delve into this man's faith seeking understanding.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

One of the reasons why I was motivated to write again was a random article in a health newsletter to which I subscribe, lauding the great wisdom and inspiration in Steve Jobs's commencement address at Stanford. The following excerpt is his speech in a nutshell:

Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

<>One of the worst things I can imagine is not giving 100% to achieve those important goals in life. What one considers important would differ, but that's not the point. Just existing, rather than using all the necessary resources that God has given me to create/have/lead a "purpose-driven life," is after all, rather self-serving. If each thought needs to be taken captive and made obedient to Christ, how can thoughtless living (the "how did we get here?" living) be God-glorifying? hmmm...how did I find myself on a soapbox?

My point with the commencement address was my initial reaction to it: how would I be remembered if I were to die today? Or worse, will I face the gloaming of my life only to wonder, how did I get here? What goals have I reached?

I endeavor to take risks and see where they lead me, starting with my current occupation. I don't know about anyone else, but retail management was not why I enrolled in higher education. I am making real efforts to apply to publishing industry positions in the hopes of becoming an editor, at the same time, develop my writing on the side. I've already received a call back; we'll see where that will lead me.

Life-long regrets, excuses, and vicarious dreams/wish fulfillment. You will not find me wallowing in these comfort zones. I hope I will not find you there either.

Stay foolish.

Beginnings...

Everyone seems to have blogs these days. But, I've decided to start one of these things more out of recent events, rather than trend. You see, I'm an aspiring writer, and I wholeheartedly agree with Virginia Woolf (whose work has greatly informed much of my literary theory) when she says: "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write." I'm hoping that this "room" will be my outlet for writing, even in its most basic and crude form.