Some moments in life need to be held at a distance because they hold so much of one's expectations, hopes, future, that to even mention them aloud is to risk them flitting away; to give them words is to imbue them with "life" and "reality", and thus, mark them with the power to break one's will, determination, steadfastness.
So, here I remain in a muted bubble, trying to ignore a dancing elephant, waiting to breathe deeply once more.
"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Promise
"God will never leave you nor forsake you; He keeps his promises..."
Today was a rather uneventful day. I went to a store management meeting from 7am to 9am, but the rest of the day was mine to spend as I saw fit.
I was compelled to turn on the TV, although, I would rather have quiet in the morning. Wouldn't you know, but CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) was on, and setting a challenge to raise $250,000 for 2007, and if that challenge was met, a third party would see fit to match that dollar amount. I was convicted to give because I have no real church to give to regularly, and I have a special love for missions and ministry abroad. Plus, the testimonials of people were a great reminder of how I need to place my trust in God and not myself or my job. Specifically, one couple who trusted in God to give to His work despite financial hardships, and before even giving any money to CBN, God blessed them the very next day with more business than they could handle. Of course, they were convicted to give even more out of their increase.
I say all these things, because I was first of all forced to be honest with myself, and reflect upon how much (or little) I have actually given to God's work. I realized that I do want to be a part of what God has and is doing all over the world, but I wasn't doing anything about it. I pledged a certain dollar amount per month, and have dedicated myself to pursuing a Godly purpose to my finances.
Interestingly, while Mark and I were chitchatting about finances and housing, the broker for the house that we wanted in Chesterfield called us back this evening and told us that the offer that they had previously accepted last week (on my birthday) has fallen through, and have given Mark and I a chance to bid on the house once more. We asked her to give us 24 hours, because Mark needs to drive out to Indiana and look at the house first thing tomorrow (Wednesday) morning, and hopefully offer for it in the afternoon.
Moral of the story: God is always faithful, and will always keep his promise to us, regardless of our faithlessness. But, it's so encouraging to see how He works to gently remind us (me) that all happens within His timing. We thought that we would have a house for my birthday; God decided that maybe we need to wait a week (or longer, if our offer is rejected again). I had no trust or faith that the broker would ever call us back, even though I dreamed and prayed and hoped for the house. I should have known, though, that God would always have something "better" for us. I can't wait to see how the next few months will work out. I can only connect the dots backward, not forward. :)
Today was a rather uneventful day. I went to a store management meeting from 7am to 9am, but the rest of the day was mine to spend as I saw fit.
I was compelled to turn on the TV, although, I would rather have quiet in the morning. Wouldn't you know, but CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) was on, and setting a challenge to raise $250,000 for 2007, and if that challenge was met, a third party would see fit to match that dollar amount. I was convicted to give because I have no real church to give to regularly, and I have a special love for missions and ministry abroad. Plus, the testimonials of people were a great reminder of how I need to place my trust in God and not myself or my job. Specifically, one couple who trusted in God to give to His work despite financial hardships, and before even giving any money to CBN, God blessed them the very next day with more business than they could handle. Of course, they were convicted to give even more out of their increase.
I say all these things, because I was first of all forced to be honest with myself, and reflect upon how much (or little) I have actually given to God's work. I realized that I do want to be a part of what God has and is doing all over the world, but I wasn't doing anything about it. I pledged a certain dollar amount per month, and have dedicated myself to pursuing a Godly purpose to my finances.
Interestingly, while Mark and I were chitchatting about finances and housing, the broker for the house that we wanted in Chesterfield called us back this evening and told us that the offer that they had previously accepted last week (on my birthday) has fallen through, and have given Mark and I a chance to bid on the house once more. We asked her to give us 24 hours, because Mark needs to drive out to Indiana and look at the house first thing tomorrow (Wednesday) morning, and hopefully offer for it in the afternoon.
Moral of the story: God is always faithful, and will always keep his promise to us, regardless of our faithlessness. But, it's so encouraging to see how He works to gently remind us (me) that all happens within His timing. We thought that we would have a house for my birthday; God decided that maybe we need to wait a week (or longer, if our offer is rejected again). I had no trust or faith that the broker would ever call us back, even though I dreamed and prayed and hoped for the house. I should have known, though, that God would always have something "better" for us. I can't wait to see how the next few months will work out. I can only connect the dots backward, not forward. :)
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