Lie to me

Well, I decided to weigh myself using my in-laws' weighing scale, and happily saw that I was 115 pounds. Of course, I weighed some free weights lying around to make sure it was somewhat accurate. Realistically, I know that I am nowhere near healthy, and even if I am the purported 115, that must mean I have lost a tremendous amount of muscle, because I know that I was 10 inches smaller around my waist, arms and legs at the same weight with a lot more tone and strength.
Still, it was nice being lied to, even for a little while.

Height: 5'5"
Weight: 115 lbs ;)
Body fat:??

Boy, I miss those days when Mark and I would be able to measure our body fat percentage with a high degree of accuracy using the underwater weighing tank at the faculty fitness labs of JMU. Seeing those numbers and having a place to go to every evening was motivation to workout. Plus, I liked the exclusivity of our very own fitness center since we were able to go after hours.
I think most people enjoy going to gyms for the social aspects, even those hardcore dudes in the weight lifting cages need the camaraderie and competition (subtle of otherwise) of working out with other hardcore dudes. For me, I know that every body type is unique and to compare myself with another chick is pointless, and neither does it help me get to my goals of overall fitness and health. I liked being able to check out my muscles and overall tone without feeling like I'm being judged or criticized by another gym goer. For example, I would feel self-conscious if I were to lift up my tank top just to see if my abs were developing evenly. Not a very motivating feeling for me. I'm not the type to just workout in a sports bra either, unless in the privacy of my own home.
So, on the fourth day of my commitment to regaining my peak health and body shape, I will locate my super accurate weighing scale (with built in body fat scale, which although is not accurate, is a reference for measurement and improvement), and start putting exercise equip funds back into my budget. I'm really interested in getting a dip station, so I can work on getting functional upper body fitness using the pull-up/chin-up bar (and of course, actually using the dip).
I just don't know what I really want to do for my legs, because I know that lunges would be a good overall strength training exercise, but I hate to do them. I really appreciate leg press machines because I feel like I'm actually doing work. Also the reason why I liked running long distances, rather than HIIT: because it felt like work. Don't get me wrong, the high-intensity intervals were work, but afterwards, it felt borderline anticlimactic. However, if I ran at a higher pace, not as crazy as the high-intensity portions, but faster than a jog, for a longer period of time, I felt like I did something greater because I tended to be drowning in my waterfall of sweat. Good times.
Well, enough talking about this stuff, time to get my butt in gear.

Days blurring

So many days so little time. I feel like my days are just spent on work. I've tried to make time for my writing, exercising, and general education, but there are times when I feel so rundown that I don't really care. Hopefully, by the time I get around to my friends' wedding in August, and especially by the time we go to Maui in September, I will be half way to my goal weight and body size.



So, I know this is a picture of me eating cake, but it was something different as it was Adam's birthday, and I had to partake. The rest of the day I did pretty well since my appetite was curtailed with protein shakes. Still on track for looking slim again.

Bated Breath

Some moments in life need to be held at a distance because they hold so much of one's expectations, hopes, future, that to even mention them aloud is to risk them flitting away; to give them words is to imbue them with "life" and "reality", and thus, mark them with the power to break one's will, determination, steadfastness.
So, here I remain in a muted bubble, trying to ignore a dancing elephant, waiting to breathe deeply once more.

"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

Promise

"God will never leave you nor forsake you; He keeps his promises..."

Today was a rather uneventful day. I went to a store management meeting from 7am to 9am, but the rest of the day was mine to spend as I saw fit.
I was compelled to turn on the TV, although, I would rather have quiet in the morning. Wouldn't you know, but CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) was on, and setting a challenge to raise $250,000 for 2007, and if that challenge was met, a third party would see fit to match that dollar amount. I was convicted to give because I have no real church to give to regularly, and I have a special love for missions and ministry abroad. Plus, the testimonials of people were a great reminder of how I need to place my trust in God and not myself or my job. Specifically, one couple who trusted in God to give to His work despite financial hardships, and before even giving any money to CBN, God blessed them the very next day with more business than they could handle. Of course, they were convicted to give even more out of their increase.
I say all these things, because I was first of all forced to be honest with myself, and reflect upon how much (or little) I have actually given to God's work. I realized that I do want to be a part of what God has and is doing all over the world, but I wasn't doing anything about it. I pledged a certain dollar amount per month, and have dedicated myself to pursuing a Godly purpose to my finances.
Interestingly, while Mark and I were chitchatting about finances and housing, the broker for the house that we wanted in Chesterfield called us back this evening and told us that the offer that they had previously accepted last week (on my birthday) has fallen through, and have given Mark and I a chance to bid on the house once more. We asked her to give us 24 hours, because Mark needs to drive out to Indiana and look at the house first thing tomorrow (Wednesday) morning, and hopefully offer for it in the afternoon.
Moral of the story: God is always faithful, and will always keep his promise to us, regardless of our faithlessness. But, it's so encouraging to see how He works to gently remind us (me) that all happens within His timing. We thought that we would have a house for my birthday; God decided that maybe we need to wait a week (or longer, if our offer is rejected again). I had no trust or faith that the broker would ever call us back, even though I dreamed and prayed and hoped for the house. I should have known, though, that God would always have something "better" for us. I can't wait to see how the next few months will work out. I can only connect the dots backward, not forward. :)

Fun Times

Hangman

Hangman
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