So, I'm a little bit of a hoarder.
I still want to keep this blog, even though I consider my wordpress blog as "my blog." I rationalize this by telling myself that http://lizakane.wordpress.com is my "writing" blog, and this is truly my everyday blog. So much for everyday. I'm obviously too consumed with ensuring I hit my writing goal to truly "manage" both blogs.
Plus, I'm truly trying to embrace my theme for 2010: "Simplify. Focus." (no comments on the fact that I'm trying to maintain two blogs when I'm trying to simplify).
So, for now, please see what I'm up to at:
http://lizakane.wordpress.com
http://twitter.com/LizaKane
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
I've learned not to let myself get intimidated or overwhelmed especially when it comes to my writing life. There's no need, especially now, when this is all just so new and fun (and NOT work!) that I need to see all these other writers that didn't quite make it, and see myself in that position, and get discouraged by it. Besides, that's not even the goal. The goal is to finish a project that I start. Only after I do that a couple of times do I get to be worried about anything to do with the publishing world.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
"The Gift" and Sunny Days
I’m not necessarily superstitious. I believe that if I set myself up for success, and make good, educated decisions, then I should achieve the results that I want to achieve. And, for the most part, this has been the method by which I have achieved all that I’ve wanted to achieve so far in my life.
I am no stranger to accountability, and feel that whatever results that I get, I was more or less responsible for those results, because I made the choices that got me to those results. Therefore, if I don’t like the results, then I need to change my approach, or better yet, increase my learning curve, so that I can change behaviors midstream, and avoid the result that I want to avoid, and head towards the ones that I wish to achieve. Simple, practical, logical (albeit long-winded, whew!).
However, there are just days when I feel like the stars align, the planets are in their right houses, and no matter what happens, it’s going to be a good day. I kinda feel that way when my Pandora Radio Dashboard Confessional station starts spitting out songs that I like (love). I kinda liken this phenomenon the way a person with OCD may use a random number generator. Too many odd numbers, and he may not want to leave his apartment. For me, if I hear a song that I love, then I know it will be a good day. If I hear a string of songs I love, then it will be an exceptionally good day, no matter what else happens. The clouds part, the sun shines triumphantly, and a chorus of angels choreographs the dance of woodland creatures skipping gaily across my yard for my amusement. However, if I need to skip songs often, or worse, move to a different station because of frustration towards my DC station (rather than because I want to hear a different mood of music), then I know my writing will suffer because of it, and I will have a bad day. Cue clouds, thunder, and a raccoon smearing his disease-ridden poo across my picture window. Sigh.
I know that sounds border line crazy, and I try not to think of it too much, because like I’ve said, I’m the master of my own choices, and if I choose to overcome, then I will and that is all that matters. It just would make things a lot easier if the universe decides to play nice, and give me more of those brilliant days of sunshine and rainbows. Like, everyday. That’s all I’m saying.
List of songs that if Pandora had a “Love” icon with a pulsating heart rather than just a “Like” thumbs-up icon, I would surely press: (in no particular order)
“The Gift” -- Angels and Airwaves (what played this morning) :)
“Chasing Cars” – Snow Patrol
“Collide” – Howie Day
“Make Damn Sure” – Taking Back Sunday
“Sleeping to Dream” – Jason Mraz
“Fix You” – Coldplay
…and most Dashboard Confessional songs, because, really, it’s their “station” that I have it set to. I have “Love” songs on my other stations, too, but I always start my day listening to this station because it has been with me since I decided back in April 2009 that I will write, and that I can do it. Now, it helps with my recommitment goal. The rest of this month will be dedicated to developing background, research, plotting and characterization, and my goal of 100,000 words will commence on June 1.
If I ever doubted that I wanted to do this, I just have to remember the feeling that I had when I woke up this morning, before my alarms went off. The sun was streaming through the windows, and my mind woke up before my body, and immediately I couldn’t wait to get to creating my world. I remember that line from Bad Boys 2: “he gets up early for this s__t!” And, being able to wake up pre-alarm, restless to start that day, I knew that this was mine. This is the world that I belong to, and I am thankful that I have discovered what it is that I love doing. I don’t claim to be the best writer or that I would be published. I just know, really know, that I love to write, and that at the end of 100,000 words, a story of mine will be complete, and I’ll be on to the next one. My goal is not to be published, but to finish a story. And, if I happen to get published because of it, then awesome. If not, then great. That’s not going to stop me, because I’m out to accomplish my little goals right now, not my big goals, and since my little goals are helping me to maintain my sanity, they are my focus. Follow the steps I laid out for myself. Finish my story. This time, I know I can do it.
[PS: I took a bit of a hiatus from active writing because I lost my focus and drive with the crunch of the holiday season and my desire to begin my 30s in tiptop health. Looking back, I saw that focusing on my health first has given me the ability to focus on this, my second priority. Plus, I now have tools to give me greater endurance and stamina, along with an outlet for stress and frustrations. Nothing refocuses my mind better than a good weight training session.]
I am no stranger to accountability, and feel that whatever results that I get, I was more or less responsible for those results, because I made the choices that got me to those results. Therefore, if I don’t like the results, then I need to change my approach, or better yet, increase my learning curve, so that I can change behaviors midstream, and avoid the result that I want to avoid, and head towards the ones that I wish to achieve. Simple, practical, logical (albeit long-winded, whew!).
However, there are just days when I feel like the stars align, the planets are in their right houses, and no matter what happens, it’s going to be a good day. I kinda feel that way when my Pandora Radio Dashboard Confessional station starts spitting out songs that I like (love). I kinda liken this phenomenon the way a person with OCD may use a random number generator. Too many odd numbers, and he may not want to leave his apartment. For me, if I hear a song that I love, then I know it will be a good day. If I hear a string of songs I love, then it will be an exceptionally good day, no matter what else happens. The clouds part, the sun shines triumphantly, and a chorus of angels choreographs the dance of woodland creatures skipping gaily across my yard for my amusement. However, if I need to skip songs often, or worse, move to a different station because of frustration towards my DC station (rather than because I want to hear a different mood of music), then I know my writing will suffer because of it, and I will have a bad day. Cue clouds, thunder, and a raccoon smearing his disease-ridden poo across my picture window. Sigh.
I know that sounds border line crazy, and I try not to think of it too much, because like I’ve said, I’m the master of my own choices, and if I choose to overcome, then I will and that is all that matters. It just would make things a lot easier if the universe decides to play nice, and give me more of those brilliant days of sunshine and rainbows. Like, everyday. That’s all I’m saying.
List of songs that if Pandora had a “Love” icon with a pulsating heart rather than just a “Like” thumbs-up icon, I would surely press: (in no particular order)
“The Gift” -- Angels and Airwaves (what played this morning) :)
“Chasing Cars” – Snow Patrol
“Collide” – Howie Day
“Make Damn Sure” – Taking Back Sunday
“Sleeping to Dream” – Jason Mraz
“Fix You” – Coldplay
…and most Dashboard Confessional songs, because, really, it’s their “station” that I have it set to. I have “Love” songs on my other stations, too, but I always start my day listening to this station because it has been with me since I decided back in April 2009 that I will write, and that I can do it. Now, it helps with my recommitment goal. The rest of this month will be dedicated to developing background, research, plotting and characterization, and my goal of 100,000 words will commence on June 1.
If I ever doubted that I wanted to do this, I just have to remember the feeling that I had when I woke up this morning, before my alarms went off. The sun was streaming through the windows, and my mind woke up before my body, and immediately I couldn’t wait to get to creating my world. I remember that line from Bad Boys 2: “he gets up early for this s__t!” And, being able to wake up pre-alarm, restless to start that day, I knew that this was mine. This is the world that I belong to, and I am thankful that I have discovered what it is that I love doing. I don’t claim to be the best writer or that I would be published. I just know, really know, that I love to write, and that at the end of 100,000 words, a story of mine will be complete, and I’ll be on to the next one. My goal is not to be published, but to finish a story. And, if I happen to get published because of it, then awesome. If not, then great. That’s not going to stop me, because I’m out to accomplish my little goals right now, not my big goals, and since my little goals are helping me to maintain my sanity, they are my focus. Follow the steps I laid out for myself. Finish my story. This time, I know I can do it.
[PS: I took a bit of a hiatus from active writing because I lost my focus and drive with the crunch of the holiday season and my desire to begin my 30s in tiptop health. Looking back, I saw that focusing on my health first has given me the ability to focus on this, my second priority. Plus, I now have tools to give me greater endurance and stamina, along with an outlet for stress and frustrations. Nothing refocuses my mind better than a good weight training session.]
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Music
It's definitely easier for me to write with music. I didn't think this was possible, since I would never claim to be a musical person by any stretch of the imagination. I can't sing, I'm kinda tone deaf, and unless I hear a song many times, I'll not remember the title/singer. (And, trying to describe the song to someone in the hopes that they will be able to figure out the title/singer just leads to further displays of embarrassment and then eventually frustration because I need to find the song. Thankfully, I'm used to laughing at myself, and that I have a persistent need to find the answers to everyday questions like that, so my curiosity will eventually be satisfied.)
But, I think this non-musicality (I'm a writer, so I get to make up words) of mine helps me out because the music ends up being more like white noise so that my subconscious can seep out and influence my writing. Or so that's my current theory. (I also get to change my theories as I see fit.)
My standby station is still Dashboard Confessional, but I have been enjoying other stations like Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours", or Disturbed station for my current project. A side effect of listening to different genres/moods, is that they evoke different feelings, memories, passions, and often what were musings over coffee end up having a more vibrant, living story. I didn't think it was possible; at least, I was never conscious of the effect music had/has on me. For example, my "I'm Yours" station (which features Bob Marley, Jack Johnson, and Israel Kamakiwiwo'ole prominently) gave me a story that I've just called "Surf Girl" for now (I'm superstitious like that. I don't want to name something until I know it's whole. Consequently, the main character for that "Surf Girl" story is just named "she" and referred to in feminine pronouns. Not the best situation, but I'm not ready to think about that story now anyway, since I have another project in mind.)
All this is part of my daily habits that I'm being more conscious about, so that I can reflect and know what works for me, so that I can repeat that and tweak it and master it and be better day by day building on those good foundational behaviors. I am walking in the direction of my dreams, not necessarily looking for an end destination at which to arrive, but an opportunity to learn from the process. The "destination" is really about how I can improve my "today" self so that my "tomorrow" self is better than I am today, just as I am better today than I was yesterday.
The questions that I am learning to ask myself each day are:
1. Is what I'm doing now helping me reach my goals?
2. Is there something else I'd rather be doing? Why?
3. What's stopping me from reaching my goals?
These questions don't just pertain to my writing life, but in everything, from health and fitness to my current job and finances. Actually, I've been forced to rank my priorities, because trying to balance all aspects at the same time ended with me not making progress anywhere. I'd decided that my health and fitness had to come first, because the discipline that I needed in other areas I knew I can cultivate with a discipline around my health (when to go to the gym, the exercises I'd do, the food I would buy and eat). Now, it's my writing life's turn. In this way, the discipline that I've developed from my physical training will translate and layer in with the writing. From there, on to the next goals.
But, I think this non-musicality (I'm a writer, so I get to make up words) of mine helps me out because the music ends up being more like white noise so that my subconscious can seep out and influence my writing. Or so that's my current theory. (I also get to change my theories as I see fit.)
My standby station is still Dashboard Confessional, but I have been enjoying other stations like Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours", or Disturbed station for my current project. A side effect of listening to different genres/moods, is that they evoke different feelings, memories, passions, and often what were musings over coffee end up having a more vibrant, living story. I didn't think it was possible; at least, I was never conscious of the effect music had/has on me. For example, my "I'm Yours" station (which features Bob Marley, Jack Johnson, and Israel Kamakiwiwo'ole prominently) gave me a story that I've just called "Surf Girl" for now (I'm superstitious like that. I don't want to name something until I know it's whole. Consequently, the main character for that "Surf Girl" story is just named "she" and referred to in feminine pronouns. Not the best situation, but I'm not ready to think about that story now anyway, since I have another project in mind.)
All this is part of my daily habits that I'm being more conscious about, so that I can reflect and know what works for me, so that I can repeat that and tweak it and master it and be better day by day building on those good foundational behaviors. I am walking in the direction of my dreams, not necessarily looking for an end destination at which to arrive, but an opportunity to learn from the process. The "destination" is really about how I can improve my "today" self so that my "tomorrow" self is better than I am today, just as I am better today than I was yesterday.
The questions that I am learning to ask myself each day are:
1. Is what I'm doing now helping me reach my goals?
2. Is there something else I'd rather be doing? Why?
3. What's stopping me from reaching my goals?
These questions don't just pertain to my writing life, but in everything, from health and fitness to my current job and finances. Actually, I've been forced to rank my priorities, because trying to balance all aspects at the same time ended with me not making progress anywhere. I'd decided that my health and fitness had to come first, because the discipline that I needed in other areas I knew I can cultivate with a discipline around my health (when to go to the gym, the exercises I'd do, the food I would buy and eat). Now, it's my writing life's turn. In this way, the discipline that I've developed from my physical training will translate and layer in with the writing. From there, on to the next goals.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
New
I’ve been 30 for nearly four months now, and quite honestly, have enjoyed this year so far. I’ve burned off the fat that I needed to, I’m writing again, and at this point, my only regret is that I didn’t do this 5 years ago.
I know it’s stupid and a little trite, but the proverb that, at the end of your life, you only regret what you haven’t done, has been playing itself in the recesses of my mind lately. Knowing how to balance patience and consistency while moving in the direction of my dreams will be the skill I will need to cultivate. Hopefully, I don’t make myself crazy in the process. But, more importantly, I don’t want to be in the same place next year as I am now. Each step needs to take me closer to my goals, and in a year, I will achieve my goal of finishing a story.
I know it’s stupid and a little trite, but the proverb that, at the end of your life, you only regret what you haven’t done, has been playing itself in the recesses of my mind lately. Knowing how to balance patience and consistency while moving in the direction of my dreams will be the skill I will need to cultivate. Hopefully, I don’t make myself crazy in the process. But, more importantly, I don’t want to be in the same place next year as I am now. Each step needs to take me closer to my goals, and in a year, I will achieve my goal of finishing a story.
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