06 Apri 2009--Rainy days

I love days like this. Being able to be at home and have a reason to be lazy. The thing is, I don't even feel like I am lazy. Working all the time with no regular schedule and varying work shifts, I feel that my body physically needs these planned convalescences. And so it is, that I was able to spend such a relaxing yet productive day with Mark, on the eve of his birthday. I like that I've been able to wait on him and give him some pampering and attention (on his terms, as I've discovered that his version of being spoiled and pampered differs from mine). Right now, we're recovering from a "dinner" of junk food and soda, and I just put a marble fudge swirl cake in the oven so that tomorrow, on his actual birthday, he'll have a day's supply of cake throughout the entire day. No waiting necessary.
The one thing I hate is the gnawing feeling that I can't shake from the back of my mind; the one that wonders if the store is okay and if I set my store team up for success. I hate that kind of worry, especially because it is so needless. Of course, I want to be able to run a successful business, and I want to work to the best of my ability. But, at the end of the day, as long as the store is physically standing, and all the employees are alive and well, my worry is very much extraneous. In fact, it's awfully self-centered of me to have to worry, especially since the business model of this store is basically set up as a turnkey operation: insert any other leadership member, and the business runs itself. But, I guess that's the price of being a store manager for someone like me. I am overburdened with a healthy portion of responsibility, accountability and guilt. I blame my parents.
So, at least I've acknowledged my unhealthy attachment to my work. Now, I need to balance that out with my real life--to be present with my husband, who's birthday it will officially be in less than a minute.