Knowing

There are times when my curiosity is too great, that I have to pick at something until I know what I want to know. That's how it is with everything that I've become interested in, whether it's the health sites to which I'm addicted or natural makeup or writing and book review sites. Unfortunately, I also have that curiosity about people in general, and though I'm not surprised about the information that I found, it nevertheless has affected my views and feelings about the person. Oh well. I can't really do anything about that, though, since I can't unknow what I've discovered, and God has decided to gift me with an incredible memory, especially visually. When I see something, it's forever burned into my brain for my inner eye to see over and over again.
There are times when I wish I were that guy on the movie Memento who manipulated his own short term memory disorder so that he allowed himself to believe a lie rather than confront the truth that he had already avenged his wife's death. Sometimes, a lie is preferable. But only in the short term. Because I know that if I know the truth of a thing, wouldn't I become better because of the knowing? I hope so. I can't see myself ever being satisfied with an ending that is without resolution, and that's what knowing the truth of a situation is for me. Finding a resolution. Because I can't see anything being resolved when lies are allowed to perpetuate.